Future, What Future?

What do you do when you begin to wonder if you're truly cut out for the career path you've started down? What do you do when you begin to question everything that you've been striving for? It seemed so clear initially, everything made sense. But as time passes, it becomes less and less clear. I went for the more practical career, the one that was respectable and made sense. I've always loved animals, always been good with them. But the science of it all makes my head spin, makes it hard to enjoy what I'm doing. So I start to wonder, is it for me. And then I come back to, god, what a failure I would be again if I gave it up with just two semesters to go. But then, what does it say when I dread going back and trying to wrap my mind around all these complex procedures. I love animals, but is that enough? And more and more, I'm thinking not. I find the science interesting, fascinating even, but the understanding of it often eludes me.

A Year in Review: 2016

Another year has come and gone. It's been a year of a lot of highs and some major lows. I began the year by going back to school with an actual purpose in mind. I've been in college since 2009, jumping from major to major and, to an extent, college to college. But nothing I went for seemed to click. Until I decided that since I really, really do not like people, I should go for the career I wanted as a child: a veterinarian. I decided to start out less ambitious though and I enrolled at CNM for the spring semester to start taking the classes I needed to get into the CNM Veterinary Technology program.

While the semester wasn't easy with the complications of chemistry, the endless paper writing for English, and the craziness
of theatre appreciation, I found myself enjoying being back in college for the first time ever. I found myself making friends and getting along with various classmates, but most importantly, I found myself actually succeeding in college the way I never had before. I ended the semester with all A's and made the Dean's List.

But the biggest success of the semester was taking the test required to get into the Vet Tech program. I had constantly heard how difficult the test was supposed to be and was more than a little apprehensive going to take it. I figured that I would take it once and get a feel for it and what questions would be asked so I could study and actually pass it the second time. To my complete and total disbelief, I passed it the first time with fairly good scores. I was over the moon. All I had to do was pass my summer classes and I was in!

I Am Not A Wallflower!

As some of you all may know. every semester UNM does four shows with the theatre department.  In the one year that I attended UNM previously, I only saw one of those shows and I never even considered trying to audition.  This semester though, with starting back at school, one of the things that I determined is that I didn't want to be a wallflower anymore which is something I've been pretty much since I started college.  I would sit at the very back of the classroom, and despite, usually, keeping up with reading and homework and what not, I never really participated in the class.  The biggest part of my issue was because I am overweight, I didn't want to bring any further attention to myself.  I felt if anyone noticed me, they would judge me and possibly make fun of me which was the last thing I wanted.  So I did my best to make myself invisible.  I didn't make a whole lot of effort with my appearance or clothing choices and I think I did succeed fairly well with just blending in.

The Journey Begins

As many people know, last month was National Novel Writing Month.  I'd heard about for a couple years but never participated mostly because I was a bit daunted by the idea of having to write 50,000 words in one month.  On top of that, I usually didn't have the time to just sit down and write or when I did have some free time, writing was not what I wanted to do.  This year, however, I decided to give it a go.  Years ago, back when I was still in high school, my two best friends at the time and I decided that we should each write a book.  In some ways they were similar because we were really into dragons and fairies and Japan at that time so they had those elements in it and then they also all revolved around three girls we based off of ourselves and our friendship.  I never got far with mine.  I would get a couple chapters in, give it to my friends to critique and then re-write parts of it with their suggestions.  I think the whole concept of the story changed at least three times.  It had been years since I'd even glanced at the manuscripts I had so I honestly didn't remember a whole lot other than the very general idea, which I still liked.  I had just never been able to find a way to go with it and write what I wanted to.