Complete Only In Him

Update:  Rereading this has made me think that I really need to be more active about trying to find a Bible Study I can regularly attend because I haven't thought about any of this in a very long time.  On a semi-plus side though, I have gotten to the point where I don't look at every Christian guy about my age as a potential boyfriend.  The way I've gotten to that point isn't so great since the main reason is that since moving and having to leave my church where I was surround by very godly young men, I've discovered that there are many young men who say they are Christian and don't act at all like that and can in fact be just as mean and cruel as any non-Christian guy.  As I mentioned in my post the other day, I've gotten to be very wary of men which means that I'm not going to be jumping into a relationship with anyone until I know them pretty well.  That doesn't mean that I don't occasionally look at a nice guy that I've met and have a passing thought of, maybe he's the one.  What I don't do is see a guy, have a conversation with him where he's nice to me and everything, and basically fall head over heels and analyze his every word and movement and consider whether it means he might like me too.  Yes, I used to do that.  The biggest disappointment to me is that with not being involved in a church, I have done zero mission or service work other than occasionally volunteering.  That is something I would definitely like to work on.

~*~

Last week, I had the incredible opportunity to attend a camp called Regeneration in Glorieta, New Mexico.  I'd heard of the camp before, but it was the first time that my youth group had decided to go.  All I can say, is wow!  Everything about that week was amazing.  The preaching, the games, the preaching, the people, the preaching, the worship, the preaching...  Okay, you get the picture.

Don't Be Bitter, Be Better

Update:  In the three years since writing this my relationship with my grandmother has not improved.  I'm no longer bitter towards her because of the reasons listed below, but I'm no loner the adoring granddaughter who thought her grandmother could do no wrong.  People always talk about that when you live with someone you get to see everything about them, the good and the bad.  That was certainly the case here, though what became apparent was more bad than good.  The longer we lived together, the more I discovered that I really did not know my grandmother at all and there was a side to her that I did not like at all that drove wedge in our relationship.  The one good thing that came from it all was that it brought my mother and I together.  We'd always had a bit of a rocky relationship, but through the issues that came up with my grandmother we began to talk more and develop a better relationship.  At this point we've become quite close and I'm thankful for that even if it did come at the cost of my relationship with my grandmother.   I still don't like Albuquerque thought I've gotten used to it..  I really am a country girl and anytime I'm able to drive out more into the country whether its back out into the mountains or in more recent times out in Rio Rancho, I'm happy.  I still hate the fact that my dogs are cooped up in their pen and that our cats have never really seemed to adjust to the new house.  I also ended up driving by our home in Edgewood about a year and a half ago and discovered that people who bought our house had gotten rid of my chickens and my rooster which left me in tears.  Despite my love for wide open spaces and a more secluded home, living in Albuquerque isn't completely unbearable and I'm happy with it for now.  I don't plan on living here forever and I still dream of finding some quiet little spot I can call my own.

~*~

Recently I've been struggling with some bitterness towards the last person I ever thought I would be bitter towards:  my grandmother.  Isn't it funny how things can change so fast?  The cause can be directly traced back to my family's move back into Albuquerque.  Now to most people that probably doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but for me, it's been pretty huge.  I'm a country girl at heart, not a city girl.