The Gender Conundrum

We live in a world where gender is an ever-changing concept. It's no longer a simple black and white matter of you're male or you're female. Now we have transgender, non-binary gender, gender fluid, agender, bigender, and the list goes on. It can be a bit of a challenge to keep it all straight.

I was raised Christian, so anything deviating from the normalcy of heterosexuality was bad. Homosexuality? Bad. Bisexual? Bad. Transgender? Bad. And so on and so on. I learned to look down on those people, I was taught to look down on them. I had teachers and leaders who vehemently spoke out against them who painted a picture of horrible people making conscious decisions to live in sin, teachers and leaders who framed my perception of those people. I often wonder, if I hadn't left home and gone to college in another city, if I hadn't been removed from my familiar little closed off world, would I still be as close minded as I was then? But while my eyes were certainly opened and I became slightly less judgmental, I was still extremely close minded. It wasn't until I actually began to really meet and get to know these people that I realized that they were humans just like you and me, not these entities of evil I'd been taught about. And not a single one of them was claiming to be gay or lesbian or bisexual or trans or whatever in order to snub God, it was simply who they were.

Over the years, I've worked hard to change my perception and stop judging people based off of appearance and instead appreciate their uniqueness and sometimes just stand in awe of their ability to be unapologetically themselves. It's really awesome and inspiring to see. But I was reminded yesterday that that close-mindedness and tendency to judge is something I'll constantly be battling.

I'm part of Facebook group that focuses on body modifications. It's a really interesting group and its one that's really changed my perception of beauty and what's normal and what's not and to me is very much a tribute to people who give zero shits what anybody thinks of them. They do what they want to do because it makes them happy and they absolutely rock it and I think that's amazing. But one post that caught my attention was a woman sharing that she was a trans woman who'd had her testicles removed but didn't want to do a vaginoplasty because she wanted to keep her penis. Say what? My immediate impulse as I was reading her post was to judge. If she wanted to keep her penis, then she wasn't a real trans woman because a real trans woman wants to look like a real woman. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized who was I to judge? Who am I to say what a "real" trans woman looks like or even a "real" woman? Just because I was initially taught that people need to fit into these neat little boxes of male or female doesn't mean that's the case anymore. Why can't people be who they want to be? I realized that I was letting my past, the things I'd been taught when I was younger, creep in and close my mind again.

I won't pretend that I understand all the new gender terms and what they mean. Gender fluidity, non-binary, agender, etc. leave me confused. I understand the definitions, but how it works, how those people who identify as such feel is a total mystery to me. But I've come to realize more and more that I don't have to understand that aspect. And I have zero right to judge someone because their understanding of something doesn't match with mine. So this woman who wants to keep her penis?  You go, girl. Do with your body what makes you happy and screw anyone who tries to rain on your parade. Instead of telling people what they can and can't do with their bodies or should and shouldn't do, why don't we just celebrate the fact that we live in a time where people can do what they want and not face the kind of judgment and persecution they would in the past. That people can love who they want and not have to hide it. The times are changing and it's kind of awesome to see that change and see the freedom it brings to people. That's beautiful to me.