Four years ago I saw the picture of this young woman and her words inspired me to stop being quite so ashamed of my body. Posing in my underwear or a bikini was not something I would ever do in a million years, but I so admired her for her courage to not only take the picture, but to share it online where it went viral. She gave me the courage to stop being quite so uptight about my looks. I still refused to wear shorts or tank tops and I hated leaving the house without my hair or makeup done, but I stopped stressing about it quite so much. Four years later, I'm still overweight, probably weighing more than I did back then but as I type this I'm sitting out in public wearing shorts, a tank top, no makeup and my hair is in a messy ponytail. I finally learned to stop giving a crap what people think of me, I learned to stop letting other people dictate what I should wear, what I should be comfortable wearing. I don't wear makeup anymore except for when I got to class generally. I've started wearing shorts to the gym and sometimes I even go to the store to do my shopping after a hard workout. I realized that I was never going to please everyone, it's simply not possible, so instead of focusing on pleasing complete strangers that I didn't know or really care about, I decided it was time to start pleasing myself, wearing clothes that I thought were cute and comfortable regardless of whether or not society agreed with my opinion. The way I thought of myself was more important than the way others did. And wonder of wonders, I don't hate my body anymore. I can't say that I love it all the time, I still want to lose weight, I still want to be healthier, but when I look in the mirror I don't automatically notice the flaws. I learned to see things in a new light. Yes, I have stretch marks and scars, I don't have the perfect, flawless skin that most women seek, but those marks tell my story. They show my struggles with weight, the battle I'm fighting now, the scars on my arms and legs show that despite everything I have been through, I am a survivor. I refuse to believe that I am less of a person because I don't have flawless skin or a perfect body. I AM beautiful, fat, scars, stretch marks and all. Whether anyone else believes that doesn't matter as long as I know it and I can remind myself of that because I am worth it. I'm not perfect, but I don't want to be. My size, nobody's size defines them. We are each beautiful in our own, unique way. Sometimes we just need somebody to remind us of that.
